Last week I learned it is extremely hard to get a baker at a commercial bakery to put an obscenity on a cake. Now, I will concede that I didn’t look that hard, just called a few local grocery stores, but I didn’t want to pay some outrageous amount for some “adult” city bakery who would do it, but would want to put it on some booby cake or something. It wasn’t a huge deal. It’s not like I was going to bring the cake to my mortal enemy and be like “Eat the buttercream before I kick your [beep]!”
I just had a friend who was quitting their job and I wanted a cake that gave it a big “hoo-rah!” Know what I mean? I would post pictures of my friend and tell you the story of how I am so proud of them for following their dreams, but they left their job on good terms and I don’t want it to get out there that when they left we were throwing Obscenity Cakes in their direction. So instead we will call this person “Stacy” and below you will find an extremely realistic artistic portrayal:
Anyway, I ordered the cake, sans the expletive and decided to write it myself. This is where I came to the logical conclusion that-
A: I am no cake decorator and I should never even look into it as a profession.
B: Sometimes crappy looking is just funnier.
So what is the moral of this story? Put the expletives on your cake yourself, you might surprise yourself. Child’s birthday? Golden anniversary? I think I’ve started a revolution.